5 Ways a Therapist can Help Sort Out Your Relationship Issues
When a couple comes to a therapist with their problems, they expect the therapist to clear the clouds of ambiguities and shower a rain of happiness and better functionality in their lives. They do not know what to expect from the therapist, or if at all they need to be prepared with anything to make the therapist’s job easier. Well, as a matter of fact, yes, the therapists do need the couple to be on par with a few concepts and principles which they, as experts, have analyzed and understood with time, and believe to be the cornerstones in bridging the gaps in any relationship. Here are some of the ways in which therapists can help the couple in easing out the relationship mending process.
1. Make them have the right attitude
When couples take a step towards healing their relationships, it is vital for them to understand that there will be change coming in their life. People need to accept the fact that it is not just their partner who is weak in taking a step towards betterment, but they themselves can also be equally limited. They have checked and identified flaws that the other person has, but find it difficult to accept the flaws that their partner had detected in them. A therapist usually makes them think, not what the measure for the problem is, but why is the measure not taken yet. Once partners have the right attitude towards each other, change would definitely take place.
2. Help them meet each other halfway
It is very convenient to make a list of reasons as to why the other person should improve. Couple therapy can have the best results if both partners sketch out a goal plan for themselves, rather than for their partners. One needs to make the couple comprehend that each of them need to change the way they think and react to what the other person says or does. A hard thing to do, but creates the best results! Therapists usually need to communicate to the couple that though they can influence each other, they cannot change the person. The couple can either continue with the finger pointing or can first climb the ladder towards a better relationship. Convincing them do the latter by becoming an efficient person in their own little ways, is the job of the therapist.
3. Teach them the art of correct communication
The fact that a couple is at a therapist’s for counseling backs the point that rather than communicating well, they now need to learn how to negotiate the right way. The therapist can push forward values of respect and openness in a relationship so that the couple negotiates effectively to reach to a consensus, the point from where they will take it forward. The couple needs to understand that looking at something in a perspective that only one person wishes to see, is unacceptable. In doing so, they are trying to exert control over the other, which will not lead the communication anywhere. The therapist needs to make the couple reflect and question themselves and speak out what really matters to them, as very often it is improper communication that leads to most of the problems in a relationship.
