5 Ways to Deal With Those Who don’t Apologize
The reason why some people find it extremely difficult to say ‘sorry’ is that they are too insecure and think that if they apologize, it will make them vulnerable and give others a chance to blame them for every future fault that might happen on their part. The problem lies in their subconscious – they cannot bring themselves to accept their fault because of a weird defense mechanism which they think will protect them. Also, they are bogged down with pride and think that apologizing will bring them down in the eyes of their peers or coworkers or friends or even family members. If you ever come across an unapologetic person, do not feel bad because they do not apologize. Instead, you should feel sorry for them as it is they who, in fact, need help. Listed below are 5 ways to deal with those who don’t apologize.
1. Remind yourself that it’s their problem
The first thing to do is take a deep breath, and then remind yourself that the problem is theirs, not yours. They are unable to apologize to you because they are insecure. They believe that by accepting their folly, they essentially establish a label for their character and will always be known as someone who did wrong. They cannot differentiate between their actions and character and therefore for them saying ‘sorry’ is tantamount to saying that ‘I’m a bad person.’
2. Don’t convince them that they are at fault
No matter how hard you try to explain, they will never be convinced that it is their fault, forget apologizing. Even if they do understand and know, they will not admit it, just so that they do not have to apologize. While apologizing gives us relief and closure from guilt, for non-apologists, it only makes them ashamed of themselves. Shame makes them feel bad about themselves and so they avoid apologizing.
3. Do not invest time and energy in them
There is no need to invest any more time and energy in those who do not apologize. If you do, it will only be futile. If they cannot apologize to you, even when they wrong you and know that it is their fault, you may find it difficult to be happy around such people. Non-apologists fear that if they say ‘sorry’, they are making themselves forever susceptible to blame, accusations and conflict. So they will never admit that they are at fault, and so there is no point in spending any more time with them.