11 Tips to Stop Fighting in a Relationship
Communication is the most important thing that can keep your relationship intact. Communication is important for every couple regardless the age of their marriage or relationship. Sometimes we don’t communicate with each other enough and this causes anger to pile up. We then vent out this anger through fighting and bickering. Therefore, some things need to be clearly communicated to your partner. Here are some more tips that can help you lessen your arguments in your relationship. These tips will also increase positive communication between the two of you.
1. Listen first and then react
Listen to each and every word that he has to say before giving any response. Let him finish, respond positively and decide who has to work on what. This is not an easy step because, it needs a lot of patience. So, tell your man that all the issues will be spoken out politely.
2. Try to understand what his and your anger is all about
Anger is a bad cover for frustration and sadness. So, learn to process information that is hidden behind the words. The yelling, nasty words and negative comments are a result of piled up frustration. So, if you are hurt by your man’s words then figure out what he is trying to tell you through those words. This idea will help you to understand the actual feelings of your man, making it easier for you to create an environment that is healing.
3. Respond carefully and calmly
It is easier said than done for sure, but this idea can help you avoid more arguments. If you want to keep the fire from spreading then you have to extinguish it. So, avoid speaking too many words and making him speak too much. Words can do a lot of harm. They are aimed to hurt especially in an argument. That’s why it is important to get past this point and you will be doing excellent. Tell your partner what exactly he feels and tell him how you feel.
4. Apologize for your mistakes or for things that may have hurt him
If you think that you are guilty for something then apologize to him. Also, tell him that you are sorry if you hurt him in any way. It is not important to apologize only when you think you have made a mistake. In fact, it is also important to apologize when he thinks that you have done something wrong. Apology and humility is the biggest weapon that can help you fight back against anger and resentment. Once you start doing this, your partner will start doing the same as well.
5. Avoid criticism and sarcasm at all costs
Criticism and sarcasm will never help you to make up. These tactics may lure you, but they are actually not helpful in making your partner feel good about the whole relationship. These tactics can make him feel torn up and disrespected. So, just use to voice your concern as a complaint and not as criticism.
6. Avoid being defensive
It is very natural to respond defensively when someone criticizes you, but sometimes, it is best to avoid the defensiveness. Instead of acting defensive and saying, “No, I never do that and you are a liar,” just ask for clarity. Ask him what he means about a specific sentence. Denials and lists of right and wrong cannot do anything to resolve conflicts.