Tips To Improve Parent Child Bonding
Your relationship with your preteen child is very crucial. Preteen is a delicate age to be in, especially in today’s times. There is a very thin line between the right and the wrong way of parenting. Find peace and prosperity in your relationship with your preteen child with these top 10 tips for parent-child bonding.
1. Guide but don’t dominate your child
Your children look up to you as their role models. Well, at least till the time they start idolizing rock stars! You have the opportunity to show them the way – the way to a good life. Use this platform to guide them in the right direction. Little things matter – their homework, their habits, their manners, the list is endless. Tell them what is right and wrong. But watch out, there is a thin line between guiding them and dominating them. If you cross the line, they will look elsewhere for role models. Are you crossing the line? If you think you are, stop!
2. Show respect to your child
As a mother, I find it easy to be pulled into an argument with my preteen child. Do I need to tell you how annoying they can be when they try and push all the buttons that irritate us? Everything they do seems disrespectful, doesn’t it? It’s your time to shine – and by shine, I mean be calm. Continue to show your child respect. Continue a conversation and finish it respectfully. They will realize that pushing buttons to annoy you, or being cranky does not work.
3. Say ‘No’ to yelling matches
Picture this – The sight of a mother yelling at her preteen child. And the child yelling back at her. Pathetic! Do you want to be in such a spot? Yelling should be a complete no-no. There is no excuse for it. You are the adult and it is your responsibility to not succumb to the heat of the moment. It’s not rocket science – Yelling is immature, and sets a bad example!
4. Set the consequences for your preteen
Preteen – note the use of the words ‘pre’ and ‘teen’. Teenage is a dangerous phase of a child’s life. It is a make or break phase. Pre-teenage years shape the outlook with which the child enters his/her teens. If your child screws up or does something they were not supposed to do – there will always be consequences. Not clear? I’ll give you a simple example. Let’s say you told your preteen daughter “You’re grounded for a week if you miss any of your classes at school” If she did miss any class and you don’t ground her, it sets a stepping stone. A stepping stone to disaster! Don’t be surprised if after a couple of years she comes back drunk at night even though you warned her of dire consequences.
5. Praise your child, avoid criticism
If your preteen is doing a good job, praise them. There are no two ways about it. Good grades at school, good performance in sports, good behavior at the relatives’ – praise every bit of ‘good’ that they do. Wait, it does not end here. On the flip side, avoid criticism. Criticism leads to frustration, frustration leads to disaster. Preteen is a sensitive age. Don’t you remember how sensitive you were when you were just entering your teens?